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As a person who has Autism I find it hard to communicate with people during certain times and situations. Today I want to talk about Autism dating and socialization. Then I am going to provide some tips and tricks on how to overcome that obstacle.
My Autism And Dating Story
I didn’t date in middle school or high school. I was too busy struggling through my own obstacles. So I really didn’t need to feel overwhelmed by trying to maintain a relationship.
However, when I got to college I only went out on two dates and both dates never reached a second date. I am not sure why and it made me feel very discouraged to try again.
The first date that I had I met her on a dating website. The date went well, but it soon fell apart after that. The second date was from college and I personally thought it went well, but I guess I was wrong.
Aspergers And Dating Problems
In my opinion I feel like I am at a disadvantage when it comes to online dating. I kind of debate with myself if I should put in my bio that I am on the Autistic Spectrum or tell them after a few conversations down the road?
In recent times when I have put in the bio people would ask me about it. But then when I reply back to them and tell them that I am only slightly autistic they respond back to me ever again.
But hey this was my experience in the online dating world perhaps someone else had better luck than me? Sometimes I need social isolation and interaction in my life.
The Best Autism Dating Tips That I Can Give
Don’t make it all about yourself. Ask questions about her and let the spotlight shine on her.
Don’t be pushy if she doesn’t text back right away
Explain to her why you don’t always make eye contact. Make sure that you reassure her that you are paying attention.
Make sure you tell her that you are on the Autistic spectrum
Just be yourself. Don’t try any pickup lines from any movies.
If she has a problem with you being Autstic then she is not the one for you in your life. Don’t chase after someone who doesn’t accept you in their life. Check out these other ten steps to help a teen with autism navigate dating.
How To Make Someone With Aspergers Happy?
I don’t know what makes everyone happy so I am going to list a few things of what other people do that make me happy.
Listen to my hard times that I am going through
Give feedback about my hard times, but only when I ask
Don’t interrupt me when I am talking
Listen to my crazy ideas even if they are impossible
Don’t tell me my dreams are not possible because I will prove you wrong.
Have Patience with me
Explain to me things that I don’t understand in multiple different ways, eventually I will get it
Don’t treat me different in front of your friends or to anyone that we meet. Just treat me like a normal human being
Just because I have a neutral expression on my face don’t think I don’t have feelings or show emotions.
Don’t assume that all people who have Autism are the same. Some have it more severe than others.
Pay attention to me when I am talking to you.
Ask me how I am feeling
Learn how to read my facial cues
Don’t lose your temper at me if I don’t feel like talking
Don’t overwhelm my schedule too much because I need breaks during the day. It’s hard for me to go from one task or one place to another.
When I need space please don’t follow me into the next room
If I am feeling overwhelmed with a project help me break it down into smaller steps
When you are feeling sad, mad, frustrated, angry, excited, please tell me how you are feeling because I don’t always pick up on that
Dating Someone With Aspergers
It might be hard to date someone with Aspergers, but it doesn’t have to be. Perhaps it might be an awesome relationship, but people won’t know that until they give us a chance.
I know dating is hard but like I said before those two dates that I had in my early twenties were hard experiences. Somedays I think to myself “should I try at it again or put it off?”
The Best Autism Dating Sites
Please note I haven’t tried these apps personally but perhaps maybe one day I might. So far I have tried Okcupid, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel.
The Best Autism Dating Apps
I have used Plenty Of Fish, Okcupid, and Hinge for a limited time. If you had any success with these let me know in the comments below.
Plenty Of Fish
Dating is tough for everyone, but in my opinion I feel like dating is tougher for people who have Autism because the people we try to date doesn’t give us much of a chance.
Sometimes I wonder If they think to themselves “do I want to be stuck with an Autistic person forever?” “Or What if he or she wants to get married and have kids?” “What if the kid has Autism as well then what will I do?”
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